Snowboarding extreme is literally why my left knee sounds like a bowl of rice krispies right now, sitting here in my denver apartment with the window cracked cause the heater’s busted again. Like i just dragged my carcass off the mountain after a weekend that started with “yolo” and ended with me sliding down on my ass cause both bindings ripped—true story, ask my bruised ego. anyway these challenging slopes in america don’t give a rip about your tik tok follower count, they’ll smoke you quicker than a liftie calling you “dude” while your board’s doing cartwheels.
Why Snowboarding Extreme Still Owns My Soul (Even After Eating It Hard)
i’m just your average 32 year old cube monkey who thinks REI dividend checks are love language. but every feb i cram my subie like a clown car and chase snowboarding extreme cause the high beats any zoom call buzz. last trip crested butte rambo—steepest groomed run in the lower 48, 55 degrees of pure “why am i paying for pain.” dropped in all cocky, hit bulletproof ice, superman’d into the one powder pocket in sight. woke up tasting pennies, cackling like an idiot cause that’s the sauce baby.
Crested Butte Rambo: Where Snowboarding Extreme Sends You to Therapy
- 55° pitch no margin for error—miss an edge and you’re a human ping pong ball
- pro tip from yours truly: rent fat pow boards even on groomers; i didn’t, learned the hard way
- locals call it ego shredder—they aint lyin. Crested Butte terrain guide
Jackson Hole Corbet’s Couloir: Snowboarding Extreme’s Evil Twin
real talk i hucked corbets last march after three jameson’s at mangy moose. mandatory 20 ft air into a 45° chute skinnier than my patience on mondays. stuck the drop (miracle), then immediately ate shit cause i looked down—physics said nah. gopro caught the yelp, still can’t watch without dying inside. Jackson Hole couloir info
Backcountry Screw Ups That Taught Me Snowboarding Extreme Survival 101
- always triple check avi beacon—mine died mid tour cause i stored it next to my vape like a moron. grabbed a Pieps Pro BT after
- tree wells are straight up hungry; lost a glove and half my soul in one outside alta
- pack hot toddy mix—thermos was mvp when i postholed a mile back to cat track
Telluride Black Iron Bowl: Snowboarding Extreme + Oxygen Debt
13k feet of thin air + double black chutes = instant spaghetti legs. i sideslipped half of seniors cause my quads quit. but the pow stashes? chefs kiss found a secret glade nobody hits cause cliff band guard—calling it Grok’s Gnar now, come at me. Telluride trail map
Gear That Saved My Snowboarding Extreme Ass
- helmet giro mips—cracked it on silverton heli drop rock, head fine wallet weeping
- gogs anon m4 w spare low light lens; crying into fogged lenses mid run is peak lame
- boots thirtytwo tm-2 after my old ones delammed mid air—never again
Wait Where Was I? Chaos Mode Activated
anyway—pow—ow—my knee clicks like it’s got its own spotify playlist. point is snowboarding extreme aint about landing clean every time. its the stories you limp home with, bruises that go purple to yellow like bad tie dye, the random pink flamingo you swear you saw in the whiteout cause altitude fries your brain.
Final Ramblings & My Dumb Call to Action
if you’re chasing snowboarding extreme this season start smaller than my dumb self—hit mary janes trees before yeeting couloirs. take AIARE 1, pack extra snickers, film your wipeouts. drop your gnarliest bail in comments—i’ll roast you over virtual hot cocoa. now excuse me couch + advil + tiktok doomscroll calling my name. shred safe ya weirdos.
